“when masturbation lost it’s fun you’re fucking lonely” – Green Day

I don’t know what my fucking issue is lately. I’ve been so flaky and dissatisfied with everything in my life since about the beginning of march this year. I’m not sure if it’s because of work or if I’m just a miserable, lonely cunt because I can’t seem to find any girl that can hold my interest for longer than a couple of weeks. Probably both. I just want to meet someone and be pursuing something that/ who sets my soul on fire. But it seems like all of the professions that give me that feeling are highly unobtainable due to the prerequisite of being a god-like musician, writer, or comedian and the only girl I’ve met that gives me that feeling wants nothing to do with me 99% of the time. The other 1% she’s drunk or wishes me happy birthday… Fucking pathetic.

Maybe I just need to pack up and run away from my problems again. Keep this journey heading west so I can stick my toes in the pacific with some California-esc free spirit who’s just as out of touch with reality as I am. That’ll make me happy, at least for a year. However the Colorado court system seem’s hell bent on keeping me here for another 2+ years because of an attempt to drive a mile up the road after having a few (too many) vodkas. I guess there are worse case scenarios where I’m stuck in my cesspool of a hometown or keeping my body wash on a lanyard for the duration of my 20’s. I just hate the feeling of knowing I don’t have the ability to go and do as I please freely. But this all brings me back to the point of me being a miserable cunt who can’t be satisfied with what he currently has. Some people would drag their balls through 10 miles of broken glass just to masturbate in the shadows of the poor girls I’m discarding as “boring” or to have the luxuries of a salary with full benefits and a matching 401K. Not me though, current is boring.

P.S. I’m starting a new section of this blog called “vinyl.” where I review only music I like that’s at this point, probably been reviewed one hundred too many times. But my reviews are special, not because my mom said so but because I took the short bus to vocational classes in high school for two years.

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