I’m not really sure how often I should/ am going to update this. I want to treat it like a phone call with my mom… Once maybe twice a week but anything more than that is overkill. All I do is work, sleep, then party on the weekends. There’s only so much new shit going on my life that I have to talk about. If I did this everyday it would end up being us on the phone for the third day in a row and you asking me ” how’s your day going?” to which I would reply “well I got out of bed at 1 o’clock this afternoon. I actually woke up at 11 but laid in bed and jerked off twice, dozed off, and then woke up and went at it for the third time.” You don’t need to hear that, nor should you. That’s why we don’t talk every day, Ma.

Lately people have been making incorrect assumptions about me out loud and I don’t correct them. Like today, I was pulling up to get lunch at Jimmy Johns (Bootlegger’s club) and I had the radio on Sirus XM’s “Garage Rock” station. I wasn’t even really listening to it but this guy driving by said “Nobody still listen’s to Otis!” then smiled and shot the finger pistol at me. I shot it right back though and winked at the dude. Why? I have never done that gesture before but it just jumped out of me. Or a couple months ago I was visiting home and I ran into an old High School resource officer that I used to talk to. He was out with all of his work buddies (cops) and hyped me up by saying “This kid used to be crazy back in high school! He had to quit wrestling because he fucked the captains sister!”. A – that never happened and B – I quit wrestling because I started getting drunk and getting laid on the weekends. The captain didn’t even have a sister. But instead of correcting him I just went along with it by nodding and laughing in approval. There’s just something so funny about knowingly letting some guy think that I’m getting run off sports teams for fucking sisters and letting another think I’m cool for still listening to Otis Redding. “I may not go down in history, but I will go down on your sister” – Hank Moody

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